True you may feel pain because on this day their absence feels magnified, but don’t let this be the reason why their birthdays are met with dread instead of celebration. And even though they aren’t here now, the day can still belong to them. Your loved one’s birthday, for however many years they spent on earth, was set aside as a day for you to honor and celebrate them. There is a misconception among some that holding on to our loved ones keeps us stuck, but the truth is, continuing our relationships with people after they’ve died and learning to love them despite their physical absence is good. Someone we love is gone, but we find that even in death their birthday still belongs to them there’s no such thing as “no more,” as long as we’re here on earth to remember them. “No more” is the saddest thought of all, and I suspect if you’re reading this you understand what I mean. Logically death means our loved ones never grow a year older, although logic does little to clear up our confusion when their birthday continues to happen year after year. Each and every birthday we have with our loved ones is a gift I realized this when my mother received the diagnosis that changed her “many mores” to “one more.” I know this is superstitious because life has taught me that “many more” is something we can never be sure of. Everyone would hit their big finish with “happy birthday to yoooou” and out of habit I’d find myself trailing off into a solo “…and many moooore….errrr nevermind”Īs an adult, I’ve come to find the verse reassuring and I always sing “ and many more” under my breath in hopes that my quiet wish might help to safeguard the birthday boy or girl’s longevity. Growing up, I thought this was how everyone sang the song until I started going to friend’s birthday parties. Also, everyone can sing to some degree so no one is shy about loudly belting out the lyrics or taking license with the harmonies.Īt the end of the song, without fail, everyone sings… “and many more”…which is a family tradition that has been around for as long as I can remember (I think some other people might sing it this way but I’ve never met them) For starters, there are a lot of us so that means anywhere from 4 to about 20 voices depending on who’s present. My family goes a bit overboard with the Happy Birthday song.
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